The Cycle of Violence
Today, two of my students fought each other in the hallway between classes. I’m not sure what the fight was about, probably a boy. Their parents were called and asked to come to school for a mediation between the girls. What began as a mild irritation transpired into an all out brawl. The girls’ mothers began with threats to each other, “This is your daughter’s fault. She better stay away from my daughter”. Followed by, “If she touches my daughter again, I’m gonna”. “You’re gonna what?” I sat there silent thinking to myself that this attempted mediation between the students wasn’t going as expected. When what seemed like only seconds later the mothers threw their bodies across the table at each other and rolled onto the floor. One mother was stadled on top of the other pulling her hair while the other was flailing to get up. Mrs. Baez had to intervene when the two grown women began physcially attacking each other in front of their children who were in the meeting because of their own violent behavior. It makes you wonder where the girls get it from. The cycle of violence is at it’s worst when two adults would find it acceptable to physcially harm each other inside a school in front of their children.
Its like the laws of the jungle… survival of the fittest. Ignorance begets ignorance, and violence begets violence. The best you can do is hope to break the cycle but as long they live in the same environment, that’s next to impossible to achieve. They need to be shown other options …other choices they can make that will have some meaning in their lives. Classes for parenting skills may be a good idea. Teach concepts and ideas like ways to de-escalate and cope, in addition to the regular academic curriculum. I remember watching a movie once where they had a “ranking” contest (Not sure what the current terminology is: “dissing” may also fit) much like a debate forum. One side would start with a dig like “Your mama is so ugly…” and the next would retaliate with an equally witty comeback. The winner was chosen by the audience’s reaction to each side’s witticisms. You may be saying to yourself, “where is she going with this? She started off sounding intelligent, but now she’s reverting to comparisons to cheap urban comedies.” Well sometime you have to think outside the box and meet people on their own playing field. If an opponent can will a battle of wits and not resort to violence, isn’t that a step forward? The reward is the approval of their peers and the satisfaction that their wrong has been righted.
Tthis was very sad to read, but it’s true where children first learn at home. For my personal belife I do believe that if every family around the world took only ten to fifteen minutes each day or evening with their children (Mom & Dad included) to mediate and start to just relax. Their are so many different CD and DVD on this subject. If families can’t make the time why can’t the school system do this? I do believe that their would be less and less volience in the world. We really all need to do slow breathing and “smell the coffee or roses” (which eve one you want to say!) P.S. I just remember that awhile back I saw on the tv news that their is a school in Bailtmore MD that does pratice mediation and some yoga with their students as a gym class and this is in a low -income city neighborhood that had a lot of crime to it. Now that they do this program their crime rate went down a lot! This would be wonderful if we could all have this in each and every public & private schools in America!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. Please keep reading.
Cecilia I love your idea! I volunteer you to teach yoga and meditation at DHHS!
Actually, there was a teacher a few years back that did teach yoga there, but it was just to the faculty and it was after school. All kidding aside, I think we should follow MD’s lead and it should be part of the daily routine for both faculty and students. I would be for adding the 15 -20 mins. to the school day to incorporate a class! They must do this in China and Japan, don’t you think? I think sports are a good outlet for pent up energy, but they also get kids pumped up and create more energy and injuries because they are competitive, so not as much as a release. What you are suggesting is not competitive or injurious at all so is a much better choice in my opinion.